This post is inspired by the film “Seven Days in September,” available via Netflix or on YouTube in 10 minute chunks. It’s a very difficult but worthwhile watch.

On September 11th, I lived on Bond Street, which is a few miles from what later became known as Ground Zero.

Close

Needless to say, I was front-and-center for the raw emotion, shock and pain in the immediate aftermath. Plenty has been said on every scale about that part.

What was maybe a little less focused-on was New Yorkers immediate response to each other.

There has always been an underlying sense of camraderie between the people who manage to make it work living here, even through our brusqueness, seeming indifference and occasional shouting matches with cabbies.  I’ve always been proud to call myself a native New Yorker.  What came out in the weeks and months after the event was a bubbling to the surface of the connections that had previously been understood but not acted upon.  People everywhere were actively connecting with each other through this new ’safe space’ that made it okay.

While that safe space has receded somewhat in the months and years following, I think any New Yorker would agree the city has increased the conscious level of connection between its citizens, which is a positive effect of an otherwise horrendous event.

Watching this movie made me start to think about the safe space that was created, and the value that it brought to the community.  What can each of us do to create a shared experience and a safe space to connect?

One of the best micro-examples of what I’m talking about appears in a segment of the Jimmy Fallon show they call “Shared Experiences,” in which Jimmy, The Roots, the guests and the studio audience all share in something silly (like wearing Slankets, or crazy sunglasses).  It may seem like just a bit, but by including everyone in a single act, intimate connections are made, people are valued and we are all left with more of a sense of unity than we started out with.

One of the true tests of the net effects of so-called Social Media and new tools like Facebook, Twitter, and the internet as a whole will be when we create a measurable effect on the circumstances by which we all identify with each other as part of a community, a city, a country, a planet, a species.  That’s when we will truly be changing the world.

And thats when the terrorists lose.

I have about six different blog posts half-written on all different subjects (including the failure of classical music to catch on with many of today’s music fan, something about the economy, and other goodness) but partially inspired by Chris Brogan’s “Things not to do in 2009″ and partially due to the typical end-of-year reflection and thinking about the future, I wrote some resolutions for myself in my personal journal.

Upon thinking about it and discussing with a few folks, I present them here, unabridged, with the thought that some of you may find a few of them useful to yourselves.

Jeremy’s Resolutions for 2009

• Collaborate more, professionally and personally. Engage others and allow myself to be engaged with.
• Trust, share and value my emotions during the course of every day.
• Spend more time with friends in person (especially if travel is necessary), reconnect with peripheral people.
• Treat myself and the world around me with more love and respect.
• Go after what I want without letting fear stop me. Say yes more than I say no.
• More precisely define my passions, figure out how to make them more core to my day-to-day existence.

Your feedback, additions, thoughts are very welcome.

Came across this in my Documents folder.

I am the only one who ultimately controls my emotions and situation, and the only person whose habits I can change. Trying to change someone else’s habits is fruitless and frustrating.

I am entitled to feel whatever I feel whenever I feel it, and to love and be loved in return. Anything else is selling myself short.

I am entitled to pay attention to my own needs. This does not have to lead to a fight, and does not invalidate my needs if It does.

I am entitled to fulfillment, and for people to treat me well.

There are many things that I am good at, and I should feel proud of them.

I don’t have to feel trapped by life. When I do, I can change my responses to behavior in order to not feel trapped.

Identifying patterns that are destructive or no longer productive is the first step to improving my quality of life.

Growing up is a process that is not easy, takes time and requires patience and courage. I have more of that than I think I do.
See Also: Jeremy’s Rules For A Better Life

I’m a big fan in the concepts of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, which basically states (in the most simple terms) that we are controlled not by what happens to us, but by what how we process what happens to us. This bit of knowledge has helped me to no end, to learn to focus on the “automatic” behavioral patterns that are so destructive to ones everyday life, so that the patterns that keep you from being the kind of person that you’d like to be can be controlled and revised as necessary.

Required reading, if this sounds like something that you’d be interested in learning more about, here are a few suggestions)

http://www.hackyourself.org

From TedTalks, the best lecture series on the planet. Why Are We Happy? Or Not? - Daniel Gilbert

Bestselling author of Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert describes some surprising information about your happiness.Sounds like we all need to listen to Sinead after all.

[via LifeHack]