I have a confession to make:  There are a lot of tasks in my life that I just can’t will myself to get done.  Do you have a list like this?  I’ve lived in my apartment for almost 5 years now and only managed to put permanent blinds in my windows this past weekend.  I just bought a coffee table.  I still don’t have a passport.  I’m not sure what keeps me from getting these (seemingly small) tasks accomplished, but somehow they feel ‘big’ in my brain, so I put them off.

As a digital strategist, I think sometimes that our clients and companies in general that are not yet engaging with their customers online feel like the prospect of “getting social media done” is a daunting prospect, and it ‘feels too big in their heads’ (whether they’re able to articulate it that way or not), and so come up with all kinds of rationales to not move forward (‘no resources’, ‘no time’, ‘legal wont let us’, ‘can’t justify the ROI’).

I think we all do ourselves a disservice when we try to respond to these individual points (though we have the best intentions) to quell the fears that exist rather than trying to address the underlying issue.  The same way that having someone say things like “well, you want to be able to travel, don’t you?” in order to encourage me to get a passport, saying things like “customers expect you to engage” won’t alleviate the underlying ‘this is too big to handle’ illusion.

Instead, what Dave Allen’s Getting Things Done system recommends is that we “Break tasks down into actionable steps.”

What this means to me in both cases is:  Scale it down until you can do it.

Too scared to start, monitor and maintain a multi-channel social network presence? Try a monthly blog.  Or a personal Twitter account.  Keep scaling it down until you feel like you can act on something.  Don’t worry about how much you took off the table.  Don’t worry about how much the competition is doing, or how many other things are on your list.  Tiny progress is exponentially better than no progress at all.

The dirty little secret is that even when you feel like you are pushing yourself outside your safezone, you really aren’t.  What you’ve done is realize that your safezone is bigger than you thought it was.

So, maybe I can’t put a “done” mark next to “Get Passport” just yet.  But maybe I can fill out the form so that when I’m ready to take that next step, there are fewer things getting in the way.

That I can do.

This may be a controversial statement, but I believe it to be true:

The best digital communications strategy is to learn how to not be strategizing so much.

It connects us back to the ‘be authentically transparent’ concept, the ‘interact like humans’ concept, all the various statements that are so hard to quantify.

What I mean is, when we engage in communication with another person, be it for personal or professional reasons, and we are ‘in the moment’, responding naturally and genuinely and listening to what the other person is saying rather than just waiting to talk, conversations take on a natural flow and rhythm that we don’t even notice as something special other than “that was a nice conversation”.

Inversely, when we are always thinking of the ‘most appropriate’ way to respond, when we ‘dont want to hurt someones feelings’, when we “think about” the “best thing to say” before we say it, we are up in our heads, making all kinds of assumptions about probable outcomes, filtering through a usually inaccurate and limiting sense of who we think we are as individuals, and viewing the world through an ‘us vs them’ filter.

This leads to unengaging and disconnected conversations, be it with a coworker, as a business or with a girlfriend.  Even if people can’t quite put their finger on it, something feels off about the conversation, and they most likely wont remember it that fondly.

This is not our fault of course.  We are trained in business school that ‘those people out there’ are a demographic to be targeted.  We are trained by our own minds not to trust our instincts, no matter how much “go with your gut” lessons we learn.  We want to be safe. We want to plan for every contingency.

The thing about contingency planning is that the element of spontaneity that drives memorable interactions gets lost, and people feel as if they’re being treated generically rather than personally.

So I urge you (and I say this as someone with Communications Strategist on my business card): Whenever possible, don’t strategize.  Just do it.

Am I wrong?

In life, we are each frequently in the position of being able to offer help to others.  This may come in the form of giving advice to a loved one, strategizing on behalf of a client or your company, or just sitting back and listening to a friend rant about their day.

If you really pay attention, though, you may notice something in a tone of voice or a type of request that gives you pause.  Perhaps the request is phrased in a very reactive way (“our competitors are using twitter, we need to be using it too” / “my boyfriend is acting weird, what do I do!”.  What you’re noticing is anxiety.  When we’re caught in anxiety about our situation or feel pressured, our ask for assistance may carry an extra layer of “save me” desperation.

The thing about anxiety and desperation is that it tends to overwhelm our ability to actually be productive or address a situation in a meaningful way.  We get caught in it, rather than being able to calmly assess the situation and figure out the best possible course of action.  At that point, any advice offered would only be taken reactively in a “I hope this will fix me” kind of way, and will not last in the long term, and in fact keeps ‘crisis mode’ first and foremost.

The first step in any situation is for the person or organization to pause and take stock of the current situation, before any action is taken.  This should always be our initial recommendation.

When you see companies focused on tactics (e.g. a twitter account sending out press releases, a Facebook page with only a few fans and no content, a blog with comments disabled), try to be compassionate.  They’re not thinking straight. In order to truly be able to help, we need to learn how to identify the tone of the request, and offer compassion and support in different ways.  If someone is not ready to accept help, then any recommendation we may offer will be wasted.

Our job as people who “get it” is not to call #fail on companies doing a bad job, or to shake our heads as we are asked yet again why anyone should bother to communicate online.  It may be frustrating, but we can remember that it is our job to help guide the from a place of fear to a level of understanding and acceptance, before making any strategic or tactical recommendations whatsoever.  If we want them to resonate, we must be patient and encourage a moment to pause for reflection of their current standing, platform, and opportunties.  Only when they are ready for help will any recommendation be effective.

I’m SO sick of the phrase “Social Media”  It ghettoizes what is essentially human-to-human interaction into some kind of line item on a marketing plan.

Using Twitter isn’t about 140 characters.  It’s about companies saying “We’re here to help, what can we do” and putting someone in charge of helping.

A Facebook page isn’t about having a convenient place to push the RSS feed of your press releases.  It’s about saying “Here’s a place where we can all come together, share our experiences” and connect with other people who are into the same thing.”

A blog isn’t a place to show how smart your people are and how awesome your company is.  It’s about “Here’s what we’re thinking, tell us what you think.”

“How can we best strategize our tactical efforts to maximize ROI” is a damned copout.  Forget all you know about how you think you need to talk to people at your job, and start talking to the public like you talk to people you like. Everyone who would be interested in what you have to say online is already your friend.  If you can’t do it, you’d better hire someone who can.  Then talk to me about ROI.

Selling stuff isn’t your goal.  Connecting with people is your goal.  Selling stuff is a result of connecting to the point where people would feel bad for NOT buying your stuff.

The information age is about crumbling the pillars of faceless corporate messaging and revealing the people inside who want to talk.

Let’s not reduce an idea as transformational, uniquely of our time and essential to the future as this to the meaningless bland corporate speak of “Social Media” any more.

Just stop.

Please.

Rant over.

People will talk about you, some will say nice things, some will complain.

Conversations will happen that you could be a part of, that you could bring value to.

Someone out there wants to hear from you. Someone out there wants to make a connection.

This will happen online and offline, with friends and strangers.

You can choose not to pay attention, but all this will continue regardless, and all you will be is alone and suffering.

Isn’t it better to listen?  Just for a little while?

What’s the best that could happen?