This post is hard to write, and it may be hard to read. Sorry in advance.
I’m scared that because I’m a smart guy and my particular combination of skills and interests tend to put me about a year and a half in front of the general population’s thinking on some things. I’m scared that this means that I’m always going to be “out of phase”. This is not ego. I’m not happy about it, I’m not bragging, this isn’t a ploy or a personal branding exercise.
I’m scared that I’m always going to have to go into a room full of skeptics, at a disadvantage, and have to prove myself and why what I’m talking about is important. Some people geek out on this. I don’t. At all.
I’m scared that I’m never going to have an experience where I say something and a person who can make it happen says “Of course. Obviously. I’m right there with you. Let’s go do something great.” I want that so much it hurts. I am capable of great things. I’ve already done some. I want to do more.
I’m scared that this is going to continually be an isolating force in my life, that its always going to separate me from other people, that I will look back on my life and wonder where the opportunities went for me to be creative in a way that fulfills me, with a group of people who are similarly fulfilled.
I’m scared of where this came from, and I’m scared of what it means about me and what my life is, and I’m scared I’m the only one around like this.
So here I am, shouting into the void, hoping it’s not just me.
It’s not just me
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