Dear full-time job hunting,
I know we’ve flirted off and on throughout the years, and when I left my last gig, we got more serious. But there’s something you need to know. We’ve been together for almost a year now, and I have to tell you that I don’t think its going to work out.
You’ve made big promises, made me feel like if only I’d stick with you that everything I want would come to pass, that I could get out of NYC, be able to afford all the toys I could ever want, and live a fulfilled life. I know that many others have been convinced to stick with you, that you can make it all better, but I think it’s time for me to bow out.
In a way, I’ve always known that your promises are not for me. I’ve gone down that road for a long time, with different partners off and on, and I’ve always felt financially secure when I’m with them, but never really felt alive. Ultimately the desk, computer and phone you’re dangling like a carrot is not what I’m looking for anymore. You’re all about the promise of security at the cost of autonomy and stifling of creativity, and that’s just not what I need right now.
You may not know this about me, job hunt, but my parents are artists who forged their own paths without needing you much, and I need to figure out where my own path is. I need to focus on myself, try a bunch of things on my own, experiment. Sure, some things won’t work out, but this is the right decision for me, I feel sure of it.
We’ve had our good times, and I’ve learned a lot from you, so please don’t think that I didn’t value our time together. I’m a little nervous about sharing this with you, job hunt, but that’s part of how I know that it’s the right decision for me, and for you too. You’ve had a rough few years, and you’re certainly not at your best right now. Maybe taking some time for yourself will help you too!
In the meantime, I’m going to start working on some projects, many of which I will post about here, should you decide you want to check in on me. I’m going to spend some time looking for people who are more like me, people I can inspire and be inspired by, and I’m gonna connect with them to the best of my ability to try to create something special.
Please don’t be sad, maybe we can be together again someday, but, you know…don’t wait up for me.
[…] work, to looking for full-time work, to whatever my career is going to become now that I’ve stopped actively pursuing full-time work, I’ve had to listen to my sense of curiosity more than ever. It would be easy to sit at […]
Good post, Jeremy. I’ve had similar thoughts lately. I like my PT job as a barista at Starbucks. The rich sensory environment of the store stimulates creative thought & gives me a “charged” feeling. I do homework for my psychology degree when I’m not working there. I hope to make time for more freelance writing too. My point is that these activities are cobbled together according to what I enjoy, not a traditional path of FT employment.